


about a girl

by bleuboxes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, also: they are american!!!, bc i am american and know next to noting about the british school system, dab dab dab, yay!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 02:19:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13284858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bleuboxes/pseuds/bleuboxes
Summary: Lily keeps her eyes on her desk in apprehension, just waiting for James to be obnoxious and arrogant about how pretty she is and how she obviously is in love with him because she keeps denying his affections and hates his entire being.But, that never comes.Instead, it’s beautiful lines about unrequited love, about how he’s ruined his chances for himself, how he’s sorry for how he’s treated her, how he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over her, and how, despite all his faults, he hopes he still has a chance.





	about a girl

**Author's Note:**

> happy new year, babez
> 
> i'm back with another trash au whoop whoop.  
> this one is also loosely based around tru events LOL (love poem friday is a thing that i had to do. and i wrote a super gay poem about one of my best friends and i think i peaked at that moment but anYWAY)
> 
> have fun reading, i apologize for the major mistakes which i will be back to fix. its like 1 am and i am tired so im uploading this as quickly as possible.

Lily Evans loves her British Literature teacher. She loves how she teaches, how she’s no-nonsense, but knows how to make the class period fun, how she doesn’t tolerate sexism or homophobia or racism or anything, really, that’s against a specific group of people. She’s a smart, clever woman, and Lily holds her in the highest regard.

Literature was never Lily’s favorite thing to study, but she’s always appreciated it. There’s something valuable about well-written words that makes Lily’s breath hitch – and it always has. She loves reading and writing, and while she might not be the best at analyzing what she’s read, she understands the value and importance behind it, understands the point the writer was trying to convey, and understands that words have the power to move people in all kinds of ways. 

This year, though, with the help of her teacher and with a new-found love for the subject area, Lily’s found that she’s excelling in the class. She loves the classroom environment, her classmates are not terrible (with the exception of a few), and Lily hasn’t read something that she hasn’t liked yet. There isn’t much more she could ask for in her senior year.

And then her favorite teacher does something horrible.

Love Poem Friday.

It’s not awful in principle, but that’s because, dear reader, we don’t have the context:

If we rewind just a few sentences, we’ll notice Lily’s class is not completely terrible. There are two exceptions to that, and they’d be James Potter and his inseparable friend Sirius Black (who Lily actually is rather friendly with – it’s just he’s near James all the bloody time, and Lily can’t stand James Potter.)

Lily isn’t sure exactly when she started to hate James, from what she remembers when they were little he wasn’t nearly as much of a nuisance as he is now, but she can pinpoint when he started to really get irritable to about the seventh grade. The was the time when she was friends with a boy named Snape, who no one liked (because he was a slime ball), and James was just, always nasty. As it turned out, Snape was actually the worst (for reasons Lily wishes not to discuss at the moment), and she no longer associated with him. This dissociation allowed James to somehow think that he had a chance of going out with Lily, and he asked her out everyday at lunch during the entirety of their sophomore year, and she hadn't interacted with him very much at all last year because of his ridiculous and foul behavior.

So, yes. She hates James Potter. He’s a bully, he’s self-righteous, and he seems to think he’s hot shit just because he was the captain of the soccer team this year. 

Sirius is wonderful, honestly, it’s just James seems to exert an aurora of influence over him that makes him less than tolerable when he’s with his best friend. So, it’s mostly just because of James that she gets irked with him.

So, back to Love Poem Friday.

Lily is absolutely positive that James is going to write something obscene and awful about her – terrible, egregious metaphors about her red hair and green eyes. She’s so worried about this she (for the first time this year) tunes out her teacher as she explains what they're to do (at least ten lines - _no, peter it cannot be about your grandmother's biscuits –_ about someone you love or have loved. You don’t need to rhyme if you don’t want to…)

She does tune in to hear her teacher say that her favorite ones were usually the aggressive ones written by very quiet people.

She smiles.

James’ poem will be awful, but hers will make him cry.

Maybe this isn’t so bad.

 

 

* * *

 

 

A freckled girl named Molly is the first to go on the following Friday. Hers is written about her boyfriend, and it's very cute. Then, Sirius comes up to the podium at the front of the room. Lily wasn’t aware that he was going today. He winks at James, then smiles at Lily. She waves up at him as he flicks his shoulder length mane of dark hair out of his face. She’s pretty sure she hears some of the girls in the back swoon. (Sirius is quite handsome, if you’re into the traditional dark and dangerous vibe he’s got going on, and even if you aren’t, you'll still probably manage to fall in love with him.)

Sirius’ poem is about his boyfriend, Remus, and Lily’s blown away. It’s wonderful to hear; Sirius crafts words like swords – they’re blunt and full of fire, shaped in an elegant and intricate way, and cooled to make a sharp, crisp object. Lily wishes that someone would only write something as wonderful about her.

Remus isn’t in the class, so Lily claps extra loud for him.

Then comes James.

He usually can’t stop moving, and as he stands behind the podium, adjusting his glasses, Lily can’t help but think that she’s ever seen him that still. The piece of loose-leaf paper in his hands flutters ever so slightly as he waits for the teacher to begin.

“And who’s this about?” she asks.

“A girl – it’s about a girl.” The class laughs. He grins. If Lily didn’t hate him so much she’d say he looks rather handsome. Then Mary kicks her chair – Lily turns around and quietly tells her friend to _shut the hell up._ Mary just rolls her eyes.

Lily keeps her eyes on her desk in apprehension, just _waiting_ for James to be obnoxious and arrogant about how pretty she is and how she obviously is in love with him because she keeps denying his affections and hates his entire being.

But, that never comes.

Instead, it’s beautiful lines about unrequited love, about how he’s ruined his chances for himself, how he’s sorry for how he’s treated her, how he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over her, and how, despite all his faults, he hopes he still has a chance.

It’s really quite lovely, and quite moving, but it doesn’t change anything.

While Lily appreciates the value of words, they don’t mean anything unless acted upon – otherwise it’s just words, words, words.

However, when he sits down, she decides to maybe give him a chance to redeem himself. One doesn’t write a poem like that just for the hell of it; it’s apparent he poured his heart and soul onto that paper, and such honesty shows that maybe his words will turn out to be more.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**sirius: hey im having a thing friday nite, ur invited and let ur friends kno too**

**sirius: I kno ur gonna say no so im gonna threaten you**

**sirius: shit**

**sirius: I was gonna do something with gasolina but I remembered your on my side of that argument**

**lily: im gonna go????**

**lily: petunia’s in from college with her bf and I need to get the fuck out of this house b4 I kill her.**

**sirius: Dab**

**lily: no**

**sirius: R00D**

**sirius: okay fine ignore me whatever**

**sirius: I’M HURT.**

**lily: wait**

**lily: don’t you live with james**

**sirius: ;-)**

**lily: just**

**lily: give me the address**

**sirius: ;-)**

**lily: I h8 u**

* * *

Next Friday comes slow. James is being surprisingly ordinary. He keeps looking at Lily in their Lit class, and she keeps hearing Sirius laugh at him about it. Sometimes she’ll sneak a glance himself and watch him get all flustered.

It’s kind of cute, even if she does hate him.

Three more people read their poems. None of them are as good as James’ or Sirius’, though, but Lily still likes them. Emmaline Vance’s is a little mean, and Lily’s pretty sure it’s about James and how he’s uninterested in other women unless they’re Lily Evans.

She’s just ready for the day to be over; for some weird reason, she’s actually looking forward to going to Sirius’s party.

She takes a little longer than she’d care to admit getting ready before picking up her friends and driving to James Potter’s house. Her friends are excited, and Dorcas, who’s in command of the radio, does a really good job with getting Lily, Mary, and Marlene even more pumped up.

Lily doesn’t even feel weird when it’s James that answers the door.

Her night is nice. She has a wonderful conversation with Remus about how Sirius’ obsession with Gasolina is definitely not a phase. She praises Peter’s culinary skill (which he claims all comes from the Bon Appetit magazine). She takes like, three shots with Sirius, dances on the couch with Dorcas, and gets pulled to the karaoke machine with Sirius when Gasolina comes on.  Marlene is taking tons of pictures; she’s almost like a record keeper of all Lily’s mistakes, really (it’s endearing, and Lily loves it. She can’t wait to look back on this stuff in twenty years and wonder _what the fuck_ at all the shit she pulled).

She’s sitting next to a very drowsy Mary when James sits down next to her. He’s got a natural blush to his cheeks, and for maybe the first time, Lily gets a good, close look at his face. Freckles sparsely speckle the bridge of his nose. He’s got a tiny scar underneath his left eye; his eyes are the prettiest hazel she’s ever seen – hues of green and brown tango together flawlessly. His specs are perched on his nose like songbirds – adding something more to the already pretty landscape. His lips – plump and chapped like no others.

She must be _really_ drunk.

He’s too preoccupied with staring at her to notice that she’s been staring at him, but when he notices her gaze has wandered down to the can she’s holding, he looks away from her face. They sit in silence, only the noise of the party reigns over them.

“I liked your poem.” She admits, not sure how to start the conversation. She looks up in time to see his face light up.

“Yeah?” he questions hesitantly, “I’m glad. I was kinda worried that you’d get, like, super angry at me about it – not without reason, anyway.”

“I thought you were gonna write something that was gonna make me really angry, but _really –_ I liked it.”

“It was sort of all the stuff I wanted to say to you – because I was a dick – about Snape and about how I handled that fall out and just – I can’t believe I thought that if I asked you out every fuckin’ day you’d actually go out with me.” He rambles, “Like, seriously, _what was I thinking_.”

“I’ve got no idea.”

“I just – I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how I was – I think the worst part is that I made myself look like a fuckin’ joke or something, and it wasn’t a joke, you know? I did like you – I do like you – and like, I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear tonight, but I feel like I needed to say it –“

“James, it’s okay – really.” She blurts, a little taken aback by his confession.

“But it’s not. _It’s not_.”

“Well, yeah – it’s not, but there’s nothing you can do about it now but make up for it.”

“But –“

“James,” she says, “I don’t think you’re a dick anymore, and I know you’re sorry and being sincere about this. Which is why I’m going to put my number in your phone, and why we’re going to try to be friends.”

“I –“

“I gave Snape a second chance – and even at you’re worst you were still a better dude than he was.”

“Thank you.” He whispers; and then he’s hugging her. And well, Lily’s a little ashamed to say it, but James Potter is an excellent hugger.

There’s one thing to look forward to in their apparent blossoming friendship.

By the grace of God, she somehow spends the rest of the night with him – he retells tales of mischief involving himself and Sirius, they talk about their favorite tv shows (they both share an intense fondness for It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and spend at least an hour arguing who – out of their group of friends – would be who in the show), he asks what she plans to study in college (chemistry, if anyone’s interested; he shares that he’s been recruited to play soccer in school, and plans on studying political science).

And he’s really, really funny. Lily doesn’t think she’s stopped laughing in hours and knows that in addition to her hangover the next morning, she’s going to be sore from laughter.

Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**lily: how the hell do you live with sirius**

**lily: he’s an actual 2 year old**

**james: but he reads russian literature and only listens to Tchaikovsky and gasolina**

**lily: I would die if I had to live with him**

**lily: also**

**james: also,,,**

**lily: you know how you tried to get me to watch the shape of water like, last weekend**

**james: ya**

**james: y**

**lily: it’s basically the bee movie for Not Children**

**james: NO NO NNONONO WHAT THE FUk,,, LI ly, whY would you SaY SUCH A thINg.**

**lily: ur welcome :P**

**james: fuCK YOU**

* * *

 

 

 

It’s been two months. Somehow, Lily’s become very good friends with James Potter. He’s surprisingly easy to get along with when he’s not being the worlds biggest dick.

Lily thinks it’s been sort of easy for them to fall into a groove because most of his friends are friends with her friends, and both she and James share a lot of obscure common interests. They combine their lunch tables, walk to class together, get together (with their mutual friends) outside of class, and text almost constantly. They share book recommendations, and James starts watching Doctor Who based on one of her suggestions. They start meeting in the library to do their homework together.

Another month flies by before Lily realizes that James Potter is really quite handsome, and well, she always knew he had a very beautiful face; she hadn’t realized how muscular he was. He’s lanky and tall, but his arms are defined, calves and thighs are tight against his jeans, and she doesn’t even want to mention how good his ass looks because she might lose all her composure.

It’s almost like a spiritual awakening, and of course, she texts the girls about it. Marlene and Dorcas won’t stop saying I told you so, and Mary’s more smug and unhelpful than both of the others combined. For some reason, she decides to confide in Sirius about her predicament, which is an even worse mistake, because not only does he laugh in her face, but she’s pretty sure he can’t keep a secret for the life of him.

On top of that, her poem is due in two weeks, and while she was originally planning on writing some serious slam poetry, she’s not sure she’s up to it anymore.

Because James isn’t the person he was. He’s grown into something that’s more understanding, more mature, more of a man.

He’s not who he was in seventh grade, or tenth grade, or last year.

He’s multidimensional – he’s a smartass without being cruel; he’s learned from his wrongdoings, and much like Lily’s beloved words, he’s something more.

And then she starts writing.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Unlike James, Lily has not spent years (or god knows how long) pining after someone. There’s maybe a week and a half of absolute agony, watching him look so smartly pretty with out even realizing it. She feels her heart tighten every time his head tilts back with laughter, her pulse quicken every time he throws a smile or a friendly hello her way, the heat rush to her cheeks every time he compliments her, and the breath rush out of her lungs every time he brushes up against her.

Added to her anxiety of reading her poem aloud to her British Lit class, this feeling is just about unbearable.

However, it is Friday, and soon she knows (and hopes) this will all be over soon.

She’s managed to keep the contents of her poem from James until now. She’s made her way up to the podium, and she can hear the _thump-thump_ of her heart. She sees Sirius wink at her from his seat, and for a moment her anxiety goes away, but when James throws a reassuring smile her way, it all comes flooding back.

“Alrighty, Lily, happy Love Poem Friday!” says her teacher enthusiastically.

“Yeah. That.” She grimaces. The class laughs.

“I’m going to pretend that was an enthusiastic retort of how happy you are to be up here right now.” Her teacher pauses, “So, the inspiration for this poem?”

Lily pauses, trying to think of an adequate description for James that’s both obvious and ambiguous.

“Uh, a friend.”

She hears a few murmurs from the back of the room, and she gets even more nervous.

Then she begins to speak.

Words pour from her mouth like syrup – sticky and sweet; her fears get drowned out by the sound of her voice in her own ears. She dares not look up -dares not take her eyes of her precious paper and face the ever-hungry eyes of her peers (of James). She’s facing the raven, and she’s not sure how this is going to work out.

Because, yeah, she wrote a love poem about James Potter, and yeah, she’s pretty sure she hated him at the beginning of the year, and _yeah –_ he turned out not to be so fucking terrible after all.

She’s pretty sure she’s shaking as she makes her way to her seat, and she knows that James is burning holes into the back of her head. She’s coming down from the emotional storm that just raged with in her, and she puts her head on her desk to calm down, Mary pats her back reassuringly and whispers that she did a wonderful job.

Only, now she has to worry about the fall out with James.

Lily’s pretty sure she hates Love Poem Friday.

 

* * *

 

 

She and James go on normally for the rest of the day, which only makes Lily feel even more foolish.

Although she isn’t sure why – he pretty much flat out told her he loved her several times already.

It’s not until the end of the day, when they’re walking out to their cars that she notices that something’s up with James. He keeps playing with his hair – like, running his hand through it, which is something he normally does when he’s nervous or apprehensive about something. And then, he keeps walking with her to her car, even though he really isn’t parked anywhere near her.

And he’s not talking, which is perhaps the strangest part of it all, because she rarely remembers a James Potter that doesn’t have something to say.

The worst part is, she knows what this is about, and she knows that this conversation is going to make or break them.

“Lily,” he begins gently.

“Yes?” she asks, stops walking, and looks up at him (he’s quite a bit taller than she is).

“Do you really feel that way?”

“I said I did.” She replies honestly, unsure of what to say.

“Yeah, well, words are just words. There’s no meat behind them, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re… obligated to reciprocate what I’m feeling.

“James Potter,” she says slowly, “I like you a lot, and. If you’d like, maybe we could go out sometime. Like on a date. Romantically. Also, yes, you are really hot and if you don’t kiss me right now might throw somethin – oomph!”

If Lily was to describe kissing James in one word, it’d have to be magical. He’s holding her like she’s the most precious thing in the world. His lips are chapped, and he tastes like spearmint gum. Lily’s running her fingers through the ends of his hair; eyes closed – like this is a poem that she’s living out.

But it’s not; it’s very, very real, and she can’t help but laugh.

“What is it?” he asks her, breathless.

“I’m just happy.”

“Me too.”

“Maybe Love Poem Friday isn’t so bad.”

“I don’t know, Mulciber’s poem was _really fucking bad_.”

“ _Oh my god –_ the ‘what is love’ in the beginning then that transition about the yoga pants _murdered_ me”

“And McGonagall’s reaction –“

They’re both hunched over in laughter reminiscing, and Lily thinks that words might be the most powerful things in the world (then she kisses James again, because why the hell not – it’s Love Poem Friday.)

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos r there bee'z kneez


End file.
